Hospitality Culture

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One of the notable aspects of living in Bangladesh is the hospitality culture. Everyone we meet is incredibly welcoming and friendly. If we are walking around with a Bangladeshi man and he spies someone he knows, the three of us are always introduced to this ‘intimate friend’ even if this person is a mere acquaintance. If we also happen to be near a tea stall, we are almost always invited to come and take tea and talk about how we find beautiful Bangladesh, Bengali dress, Bengali food, and whether we are married or not. At the tea stall, it’s either rang cha (wrong cha - tea without milk) or dudh cha (dude cha – tea with condensed milk) both with plenty of sugar. It’s quite enjoyable sitting there with a nice glass of tea but sometimes I do wish we got bigger cups!

If we visit each other’s host homes, food will almost always be offered, even it’s just fruit and biscuits. On hot days, our host mum will fetch someone to climb a tree to gather green coconuts and hack them open to reach the refreshing water within.

Within our own host homes we are still treated as guests. Whilst it’s appreciated that we get involved sometimes, we’re not expected to do chores or help around the house or farm at all. We’ve sort of been adopted as part of the family but are still treated as visiting members first. We eat separately to the family, although they don’t really seem to eat together anyway, and if we stand outside for any length of time, chairs or stools will always be brought for us to sit on.

I mention all this as it seems very important here to be seen to look after guests well. Our host mum regularly implores us to eat more food so we go home fatter since to her this is a sign that we have enjoyed her food and that she has taken care of us well. Trying to convince her that I am full to bursting point and cannot eat any more is quite a challenge sometimes!

Partly I feel this comes down to gaining a sense of pride as a host and as a way of gaining respect as a woman. Since the gender divide is very stark and roles are clearly defined, succeeding in this role is very important. I should however add, that from both men and women, there is a genuine desire to make you feel welcome in their home, even if sometimes this means refusing food as everyone is trying to overfeed you!