One of my biggest challenges here is not having the space to let my guard down. I find it exhausting keeping my emotions to myself and for the most part I do a pretty good job at keeping them at arms’ length so I don’t get swallowed whole by them and I don’t spill them into community life. It feels pretty selfish of me to let this get to me but in many ways the whole point of community life is to support each other with those things which is probably why there are ongoing discussions as to whether to call this a ‘community’ or not. My problem seems to be that when I feel completely powerless that guard slips and the smallest of things will spark a torrent of emotion over something that is actually very small. Part of me know that this is not healthy means of existence at all (all of that has to go somewhere and if you’re a bottler and have been telling yourself to let something go for so long eventually that bottle will explode when it reaches tipping point) and the other part kn...